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Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index
Unexpected development shakes up computer industry
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to "organize the world's information," announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index.
"Our users want the world to be as simple, clean, and accessible as the Google home page itself," said Google CEO Eric Schmidt at a press conference held in their corporate offices. "Soon, it will be."
The new project, dubbed Google Purge, will join such popular services as Google Images, Google News, and Google Maps, which catalogs the entire surface of the Earth using high-resolution satellites.
As a part of Purge's first phase, executives will destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google.
"A year ago, Google offered to scan every book on the planet for its Google Print project. Now, they are promising to burn the rest," John Battelle wrote in his widely read "Searchblog." "Thanks to Google Purge, you'll never have to worry that your search has missed some obscure book, because that book will no longer exist. And the same goes for movies, art, and music."
"Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. "This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers."
This report was written by The Onion
Used Car Shopping Tips
All cars sold by dealers must have a Buyer's Guide label on the window with information on price and warranty. "As is" usually means there is no warranty. Factory or dealer warranties specify the terms and indicate whether they are transferable to new owners. Service contracts are sometimes available if there is no warranty, but they will cost more.
Buy a used car when it is two to four years old. By then the car has already depreciated greatly but will likely still be in good enough shape to last many more years.
Conservative cars such as sedans, mid-sized cars, and station wagons tend to be the best used car buys because they are typically more durable and were handled with care by their original owners.
Inspecting the Car
Before you buy a used car, be sure to examine it thoroughly. If you are inexperienced with cars, bring a knowledgeable friend along with you or ask that the car be inspected and appraised by a professional mechanic at your expense. Ask the seller to show you previous service and repair bills.
When inspecting the car, check it all over:
Under the hood, for irregularities
Underneath the car, for leaks and rust
The body, for dents, peeling paint, rust, and signs of extensive repair work (new welds, new paint)
The glass, for cracks and scratches
The tires, for correct alignment and proper wear (and see that there is a spare tire and a jack in the trunk)
The suspension, to make sure all sides of the car are level (bounce gently on the car to see that it recovers quickly)
The odometer, to see that its indicated mileage matches logically with the shape the car is in (tampering with odometers is against the law, but often done)
The interior, to see that there are no rips in the seats and no foul odors; that all the controls, accessories, and pedals work; and that the car is comfortable
The Test Drive
Once you have inspected the car completely, take it on a test drive. Take as long as you need (at least half an hour) to get a feel for how the car runs and to test all its mechanical parts. Check these features:
The steering, for wheel alignment and ease in turning
The brakes, for quickness and reliability
The engine, for ease in starting, power, acceleration, and speed
The transmission, for ease in shifting without jerkiness
The exhaust, for noise level and emissions
The suspension, to see that it handles bumps and turns well
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