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Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index

Unexpected development shakes up computer industry

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to "organize the world's information," announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index.

"Our users want the world to be as simple, clean, and accessible as the Google home page itself," said Google CEO Eric Schmidt at a press conference held in their corporate offices. "Soon, it will be."

The new project, dubbed Google Purge, will join such popular services as Google Images, Google News, and Google Maps, which catalogs the entire surface of the Earth using high-resolution satellites.

As a part of Purge's first phase, executives will destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google.

"A year ago, Google offered to scan every book on the planet for its Google Print project. Now, they are promising to burn the rest," John Battelle wrote in his widely read "Searchblog." "Thanks to Google Purge, you'll never have to worry that your search has missed some obscure book, because that book will no longer exist. And the same goes for movies, art, and music."

"Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. "This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers."

This report was written by The Onion

Used Car Shopping Tips

All cars sold by dealers must have a Buyer's Guide label on the window with information on price and warranty. "As is" usually means there is no warranty. Factory or dealer warranties specify the terms and indicate whether they are transferable to new owners. Service contracts are sometimes available if there is no warranty, but they will cost more.

Buy a used car when it is two to four years old. By then the car has already depreciated greatly but will likely still be in good enough shape to last many more years.

Conservative cars such as sedans, mid-sized cars, and station wagons tend to be the best used car buys because they are typically more durable and were handled with care by their original owners.

Inspecting the Car

Before you buy a used car, be sure to examine it thoroughly. If you are inexperienced with cars, bring a knowledgeable friend along with you or ask that the car be inspected and appraised by a professional mechanic at your expense. Ask the seller to show you previous service and repair bills.

When inspecting the car, check it all over:

The Test Drive

Once you have inspected the car completely, take it on a test drive. Take as long as you need (at least half an hour) to get a feel for how the car runs and to test all its mechanical parts. Check these features:

  1. The steering, for wheel alignment and ease in turning
  2. The brakes, for quickness and reliability
  3. The engine, for ease in starting, power, acceleration, and speed
  4. The transmission, for ease in shifting without jerkiness
  5. The exhaust, for noise level and emissions
  6. The suspension, to see that it handles bumps and turns well


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